Carnal Embrace

If you couldn’t find a lover to test out condoms with last week, you can go hands-solo this week with the perfect vibrating toy. This club isn’t women only—vibration can be added to almost any sort of masturbation, regardless of your sex or sexual orientation.

Forget what science told you: Bullet vibrators are the building blocks of life. It’s best to get a simple bullet vibe (and lots of extra watch batteries) and then work your way up from there. Good Vibrations sells the Magic Touch Bullet Mini, a small, sleek, bullet-shaped vibrating toy, for $12. From here, you can add masturbation sleeves, rings, strap-ons and dildos more easily than you can customize your Scion.

For some toys, you can slip in a bullet vibe at the end for extra sensation. Women can party with Rock Chick, which is 4.5 inches long and a little over 1 inch wide for $66. Rude Boy is built more for prostate and perineum stimulation and is slightly longer at 5 inches. Unfortunately, you have to shell out more for that—it’s $79 for him.
(more…)

While normal people unlike myself and people with real jobs still trundle through the seventh Harry Potter book, hundreds of hungry shippers will find new ways to disrobe, arouse and utterly debauch Harry and Co. Trust me, this started way before Daniel Radcliffe revealed his hunky hunk of burning love to the eager audience of “Equus.”

No, for years Harry has been more than platonic friends with Hermione, has fooled around with Draco and even has found himself in the arms of Snape. And that’s not even considering his orgy of friends.

Missing out on all this sex? Harry Potter fan fiction, if you know where to find it, thrives with a strong fan base and numerous contributions and yes, plenty of raunch. Hedwig, I don’t think we’re in the canon anymore.
(more…)

Browsing the impressive display of dongs and dildos all arrayed against the wall, my eyes lit up and my cooch’s little heart leaped for joy. I already had a sex toy, and he pleased me just fine, but how can you not enjoy yourself in a candy store?

Good Vibrations is synonymous with pleasure in Berkeley, and it’s no surprise. It’s mecca for singles, couples and people who just want some pleasure. With a 10 percent discount for students, even your wallet can have an orgasm.

Most people share the belief that sex toys are for women. Men, well, they can make do with a hand and some lotion and maybe a vintage Jenna Jameson porn. Vibration? They don’t need no stinkin’ vibration.
(more…)

There comes a time in your years as a college student in which you just need to be alone. You need to be by yourself; you need to be left to your own devices. You, my friend, need to masturbate.

You also have a roommate who refuses to leave the room. You know there’s bound to be some coming and going in your room, and you’re not the one who’s going.

Men, for the most part, understand this. Masturbation is one of the necessities for sustaining life, along with food, water (often replaced with beer), possibly shelter, and sex with a partner, for the lucky ones. I’ll bet you that even Captain Hook found some way to –ahem– scrub his deck.

(more…)

Ah, the elusive orgasm. It’s so frustrating when you just can’t get it right. You’re down there for what seems like days, thrusting and pumping and fiddling and pulling. It’s as if you’re waiting for Godot, but I’m pretty sure an orgasm is more welcome than he will ever be.

I’ve been in that boat before. Well, it was a car. There we were, getting each other off. It was my turn to ride the climax coaster. The coaster broke down. I started to feel bad. Poor guy, he’s been at it for . . . what? 30 minutes? The climax wasn’t going to come — I wasn’t going to come — so I faked the coming. I always make it my business to come.

When you’re by yourself though (or even with a partner), faking doesn’t solve your need for sexual release. You need to real deal, that great O that accompanies “___ my god,” “___ shit,” “___ Fred, sorry, Jack,” and the “___ shit” again.

A little while ago, someone left a blog comment, someone in pursuit of her orgasm. She writes:

i have tried many things: males, masturbating, googling “female orgasm”,
etc. to no avail. i just get bored. am i just anatomically challenged? what should i
try? any vibrators that are “sure things”?

(more…)

Vibrators are awesome. That’s pretty much non-debatable. There are so many different kinds, so many ways to get your vibrator to fit you just right. They should replace diamonds and dogs and become every woman’s and man’s best friend.

Vibrators actually started out as a result of male oppression of women’s “issues.” Female hysteria was a popular diagnosis during the Victorian era - its symptoms covered practically any “womanly” complaint: insomnia, bloating, irritability, and general craziness. The day’s doctors believed that an orgasm would cure this disease, which supposedly originated from a wandering uterus. After getting tired from administering manual stimulation to the vagina (that’s what happens when you get so many God-damn hysterical bitches!), they developed a machine that would do the work for them: the vibrator.

Dear vibrator, oh how you’ve changed so! No longer do you trivialize the womanly realm; you are indeed the liberation!

Vibrators today can be big or small, electric or battery, discreet or overt. They can work on your clit, your nipples, your g-spot, your labia, your perineum, your p-spot, your anus, and (if you’re buying from Sharper Image) your “neck.” But don’t assume that any vibrator is for you and that you absolutely HAVE to get the Rabbit. A few general tips:
(more…)