Christine, my close freshman friend was recently sexually assaulted. How can I help her heal and cope with the situation? How do you suggest I (or we) best approach, punish or deal with her assaulter?
He harangued her for sex even though she was obviously under the influence of alcohol. She also repeatedly told him “no,” she wouldn’t have sex with him though she wanted to. She was previously a virgin. It was unprotected.
What can we do to communicate to him that it’s not OK to exploit or push nonconsensual situations? She does not intend to press charges or involve the police or her parents.
—A survivor and friend
I respect your concern for your friend, and I wish I could have had that support when I was raped. Coming to college, rape was the one thing I feared above all. I didn’t want to be overtaken, to lose power over myself or, most especially, to become another statistic. It’s been two years now, and I still don’t talk about it. Your e-mail, however, made me realize it’s important to acknowledge and talk about the event in order to regain control.