A freshman I once knew had recently acquired a boyfriend. They wanted to express their love for each other, to take it to the next level. But she wanted to keep her V-card.
The only solution, then, was butt sex. Obviously, anal sex did not count, as long as her hymen remained untouched. Problem solved.
Assuming that our youngest class at UC Berkeley contains the most virgins, I’d like to help our batch of freshmen avoid taking it up the butt in an effort to save their last ounces of innocence. I might as well start on a squeaky-clean slate to balance out the rest of the semester.
Keeping your proverbial hymen intact doesn’t have to be a chore. For many male engineering students, it happens quite naturally.
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