February 6, 2007

C. U. N.ext T.uesday

Filed under: Anatomy

Many people don’t understand sex because they don’t understand vaginas. To be quite honest, I still don’t understand everything that goes on down there. The beaver is a totally different creature.

I’m pretty certain I lost all the gay men about to read the column after my first sentence. Here’s my desperate attempt to bring them back: Judy Garland! Madonna and/or Cher! “Dreamgirls,” perhaps? Even gay men have a connection to vaginas. You were born from one, weren’t you? Or at least conceived through one, I’m sure of that.

The truth isn’t necessarily self-evident. Not all vulvas are created equal. (Some are more equal than others.) By vulva, I’m talking about the whole kit and caboodle, from the mons pubis (the bush part, people) all the way to the love hole. Ah, the origin of the world. You’re welcome.
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