Carnal Embrace

I’m taking a little vacay from the sex blog world. It’s winter break, I’m not in school, and my mind needs to reboot — ya hear?

To be quite honest, these magic fingers don’t want to be racing ‘cross a keyboard right now. Did I mention I’m on vacation?

Check back in a week, around the 1st, and I’ll have a resolution-type post ready for my sexies. I declare 2007 the year for sex (like any other). See you next year!

Meanwhile, you can check me out on CalStuff, writing about inane Berkeley news while everyone is gone.

- Christine

‘Tis the season to give, but that doesn’t mean you’ve got to forget about getting some ass. Give your love-interest (your long-term partner, your fuckbuddy, or even your crush) a little somethin’ somethin’ to remember you by. . . and you may soon find yourself on the receiving end. Hopefully you’ll be receiving some pleasure rather than a fruitcake, but that’s really out of my hands.

The holidays are all about family, but you musn’t forget lovers either. C’mon, the cold weather, a warm fireplace, cuddled up on the couch, watching that claymation Rudolph movie — that gets me randy. It’s time for some holiday cheer.

Hanukkah’s just about done and Winter Solstice is long past, but that still leaves us Festivus (today!), Kwanzaa, and Christmas. It’s time to get busy.

You know that every boy and girl wants an iPod, but your little angel has been very naughty this year. I know the perfect gift, and it’s much better than a lump of coal. (more…)

The Los Angeles Times recently reported on a study that found male circumcision to lower the risk of contracting HIV. Now Jews finally have something to boast from their bris besides just a pretty penis. Hello, boys of AEPi, let’s share the love!

The study showed that circumcision cut the risk of HIV infection in half, as the foreskin is composed of fragile cells more susceptible to infection in general. In fact, the article claims that the study was so successful in finding a defense against HIV that it ended prematurely to offer “a little off the top” to all the participants. Awesome, I’m always up for a free trim.

The director of the World Health Organization’s department of HIV/AIDS, named — get this, I am not joking– Dr. De Cock, says that circumcision is “not a magic bullet,” but the findings are very beneficial in a global battle against HIV. And I trust his word. He is, afterall, De Cock, doctor.

The study, however, is not perfect. I’m all for a clean-cut man, but this little tale just ain’t working for me. I’ve got a bone to pick, if you know what I mean. (And by “pick” I mean. . . well, a little wink wink nudge nudge.)
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“Hand jobs are a man’s job,” said one guy on the topic of sexual dexterity. Girls, quite frankly, just kinda suck at them. And not in a good way (Then it’s no longer a HJ, you see?)

Now I’m not saying the hand job is obsolete or that it should be utterly ignored. Moderation, people — you know that guy is already jerking it twice a day. He probably doesn’t need another yank on his tool (though I’m sure he’d like something else on his screwdriver.)

There is an appropriate time for a hand job, and it exists after making out and before any other type of sex. Well, okay, if you’re part of the small percentage of women who can actually pull one off without damaging your partner’s little guy then you could perhaps make a day of it. Generally speaking, though, the hand job can only really function as a segue into something better (and less tedious).

I see you insisting on a little manual on his spaniel. Calm down, sex pot. There’s one rule to follow, okay? One absolute law, never to be broken. You ready for it? (more…)

The bedroom is a magical place. Your penis becomes a big fucking cock. Your vagina becomes a sweet pussy or (if you want it hard) an eager cunt. We’re getting down and dirty, and I kinda like it. (As usual.)

Remember way back when I said the mind is an erogenous zone? Well, now’s your chance to listen talk it up. I want to hear your sexiest in-the-sack sweet nothings. What’s that? (Pussy)cat got your tongue?

I thought so. Talking dirty can be incredibly sexy, but so many people don’t know how to do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. Case in point: I’m minding my own business on AIM when an old flame IMs me. “I’m talking to this girl online and I need to talk dirty to her. Can you send me some naughty talk you’d like to hear?” For you, no. But for my readers, oh yes yes YES!

Start simple, honey. Here’s an easy one: (more…)

You know why they call the regular man-on-top position “missionary”? Because it’s so damn boring. Well, at least after a while. Any position, when held for too long, can get tedious. You need to switch it up.

Read up on the Kama Sutra and learn how to stick your vajra in her lotus every which way. Can you say “Ohm yea?”

Or just participate in your own trial-and-error (and hopefully more trying than erring). Grab your partner, do-si-do, and be anything but squares in your bedroom dance. Extreme flexibility is not necessary — there are plenty of positions you can try that won’t throw out your back, dear thrustaholic.

Or let me tell you all about different positions. We’ll make it a little game of show and tell. I like that. It makes memories of kindergarten feel so very naughty. For PC purpose, I’m going to do away with the “male” and “female” partners. For today, kiddos, we’re going to have the penetrator (the one with the penis or dildo) and the penetrated (the one receiving the penis or dildo). Top and bottom will get too confusing with our array of bedroom gymnastics.

I might as well start with missionary. I don’t really hate it. It’s just that it cannot and should not be the only sexual position you try. (more…)