Vibrators are awesome. That’s pretty much non-debatable. There are so many different kinds, so many ways to get your vibrator to fit you just right. They should replace diamonds and dogs and become every woman’s and man’s best friend.
Vibrators actually started out as a result of male oppression of women’s “issues.” Female hysteria was a popular diagnosis during the Victorian era - its symptoms covered practically any “womanly” complaint: insomnia, bloating, irritability, and general craziness. The day’s doctors believed that an orgasm would cure this disease, which supposedly originated from a wandering uterus. After getting tired from administering manual stimulation to the vagina (that’s what happens when you get so many God-damn hysterical bitches!), they developed a machine that would do the work for them: the vibrator.
Dear vibrator, oh how you’ve changed so! No longer do you trivialize the womanly realm; you are indeed the liberation!
Vibrators today can be big or small, electric or battery, discreet or overt. They can work on your clit, your nipples, your g-spot, your labia, your perineum, your p-spot, your anus, and (if you’re buying from Sharper Image) your “neck.” But don’t assume that any vibrator is for you and that you absolutely HAVE to get the Rabbit. A few general tips:
There are two main types of vibrators: internal or external (you can think of them respectively as “phallic” or “round”). Internal vibrators are often phallic in their anatomy and their use.
They work best at stimulating the g-spot, vaginal walls, the prostate, and the anus. It is possible to use one elsewhere, but the vibration tends to be not as concentrated and seems weaker. The best thing about internal buzztoys? You can thrust in and out while it throbs against you. (Oh God that sounds so hot.) When using an internal vibrator, be sure to use lubrication. Condoms are a great idea and make for easier clean-up, but if you’re vibing twice a day, this will soon be a costly pursuit.
External vibrators are often more compact. The bullet is an excellent example, but these types of vibrators come in many forms and can be more discreet.
The vibrator pictured above would work best for a woman and her clit, but external vibrators are not limited to one specific sex. (Bullet vibes can easily slip into cock rings and penis sleeves to stimulate a guy’s nuts and bolts.) These toys typically require less clean-up and no lube. They are unassuming and consequently can ease their way into a couple’s bump and grind more seamlessly than can a giant buzzing, rotating silicone cock of purple pearlescent shine.
Which kind is right for you? For some, neither is appealing. Not everyone gets off on vibrations. A good ol’ one-hand dance or a simple dildo works. And that’s just fine. I do encourage you to try vibrators though, regardless of your biological sex or sexual preference.
I find the advantages outweigh any disadvantages. Depending on how you use them, vibrators can shorten the time you spend masturbating (if you are worried about time management) or they can prolong your favorite activity by resting your hands a bit and letting you control speed, rhythm, and intensity with a simple turn of the dial. For women, they can help you reach better orgasms (think multiple, baby) during sex because you become aware of what you need to get off - it’s like training for the Humpalympics. However, men must be careful with vibrators. It has been noted that too much vibration may be desensitizing (though this can be true for either sex).
Vibrators are definitely worth the buzz. When you buy your own, don’t be afraid to ask plenty of questions. It isn’t just a hunk of plastic - it’s going to be your best friend for quite a while. You’re going to name it. Buy it some companions as time passes. Perhaps even knit it a little cozy. Then again, you may not want to hide it. Display it proudly! Forget about those porcelain dolls collecting dust on the shelves - it’s all about the vibes.
Dude, that cozy is freeeaaaking adorable.
Nice blog, Christine. Very informative
Although for your sex music article, I don’t know if I’d like to make love to Ella Fitzgerald…I would expect it to be a little awkward. lol.
Anyway, two thumbs up, Big Booty!
~Emiko
Comment by Emiko — October 17, 2006 @ 10:49 am
I love your sex blogs! They are really interesting and informative.. can’t wait for your next one.
Comment by Anonymous — October 17, 2006 @ 7:34 pm
wandering uteris….??
Comment by nena — October 18, 2006 @ 12:13 am
The whole concept of the wandering uterus came from the crazy Greeks. Think of the the root - hyster - as in hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). It was thought that the imbalance the wandering uterus caused within the female body translated into her exaggerated emotions and “odd” behavior. Because of the ties to the uterus, this “disease” demanded a sexual cure. I don’t know how the Greeks decided that orgasms would do it, but that was their solution. (But in a way they weren’t all that wrong - orgasms make everyone feel more fulfilled and content.)
Comment by Administrator — October 18, 2006 @ 12:44 am